As I turned the page on my 50s this week, I came to the conclusion that I’m dull.
I got some help in the process of making that decision. There was a letter in the morning mail informing me of that. I don’t think the writer was referring to me as a person, but what I put in this space. It’s not edgy enough.
Apparently, what is edgy is writing a letter to someone you don’t know and signing a fake name, obviously with the hand you don’t normally write with. Then, this letter was so important that you addressed it to the newspaper and put as the return address the newspaper’s post office box, so it was going to get to its destination one way or another.
That’s living life to the fullest. I’m glad that the “author” took the time out of his or her day to drop me a note. This is the same kind of person who makes up fake online social media profiles and leaves bad reviews.
Well, Charles, I’m challenging you to a duel. Let’s see who can write something more exciting. You can even write yours left-handed, like you did on the envelope, and I’ll type it for you. I want to hear about all your adventures. I bet you have some good ones. I bet you could tell of all the meals you send back at restaurants and about the times you’ve given $1 tips to servers.
Bring it on, Charles! I’m ready for you. I have adventures galore! In fact, just this weekend, I had a surprise party for my 60th birthday. Here’s the surprise: I had it, and I didn’t invite anyone. Surprise!
Then, the next morning, the actual day of my birthday, it was raining in the morning, and I didn’t go to work until 9 a.m. because I didn’t want to get rained on. Charles, I’m actually a rebel.
I’ve been doing this for over four decades. I perhaps was more exuberant in my youthful writing. I grew up in the age where journalists were neutral. I have opinions, sure, but they don’t need to be voiced here. This isn’t Fox News, CNN or MSNBC, or even many daily papers that have an agenda. My story may be dull, but the stories of the community are what matter. They’re exciting. Kids are excelling in sports. Big things are happening. Fun stuff!
To me, that’s what matters. So, Charles, you have been challenged. You’ve got 500 words in this very space next week to not be dull. You can set up a fake email account if you wish for your identity to remain hidden. That way, you won’t have to write left-handed.
Now this is getting exciting!